Well, here we are. I feel like I wrote this 2020 {hindsight} post a decade ago - in another world; another time; another life. What a year we all just had. And 2021 isn't showing us a very warm welcome, is she? I probably should have named this post hindsight, but oh well. Hindsight really is 20/20, huh?
The holidays and the new year have always filled me with such a sense of hope, happiness, excitement, ambition. While I will admit my sail isn't flying quite as full as it usually is, I still have those tummy-tingling sparks of hope and promise. That clean slate feeling. A fresh notebook, a new calendar and quarter. I always like to do a little summary - like a journal entry - this time of year. It's admittedly more for me than for my readers, but I do appreciate those of you who take the time to read and comment on my more personal, non-food related posts. Just words. And lots of them.
The gift of writing
This isn't a gift 2020 brought, but it sure has been a welcome escape during this tumultuous year. As many of you know, I love writing. I was a writer and self-professed word nerd before I was a blogger, before I even thought of being a food photographer. I'm a Lit major and long before that I grew to love writing. My father and grandfather were great examples for me; both were incredibly talented and naturally gifted writers. I'm so glad I absorbed that from them.
The act of putting a pen to paper - or now fingertips to keyboard - is an act of catharsis for me. No matter the emotion I'm feeling, I know I can write about it. And while I may not be able to solve my problems, at least I can get them out of my mind and attempt to make sense of them. Now that both of my grandparents are gone, I realize even more how special it was having them around during my college career and at my college graduation. I used to send many of my essays to my grandpa and he loved discussing them with me. Education and the idea that one should never, ever stop learning were two values that they both believed so strongly in and instilled in their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. They set such a shining example for all of us.
2020: The gift of life & friendship
The first and most wonderful gift that 2020 brought: my best friend, soul sister, sister from another mister, Stacey, had a baby! She, her husband George, and their daughter Eve welcomed beautiful Emelia into this world. They are family to me. Truly the best friends I've ever had and a couple years ago they moved from Virginia to Florida and many, many tears were shed.
They came up to stay with us for a few days in November 2019 and when she walked in and saw that I had the wine glasses waiting, she burst into tears (happy ones) and told me she was pregnant! So naturally, we both started crying and hugging and I put the wine away and poured us some seltzer. We were planning to go down and visit them but when the world shut down our plans did too.
Because of stinking COVID, I still have not met sweet Emelia in person, but we have had some video chats and I've seen plenty of photos and videos of the sweet little nugget. Oh, and I'm her fairy godmother. Stacey sent me a surprise package, which I kind of assumed was a baby shower favor from her virtual shower, but when I opened it I found the sweetest little note with a rhyme asking me to be her godmother. Yes, I cried, and of course I called her immediately and said, "yes!"
2020: the gift of love & hope
Another gift: my friends, Dylan and Erica, got hitched! They are the hardworking team that runs Hayfield Farm (if you follow me on Instagram you have seen them a LOT) and I'm so lucky to call them my friends. Erica and I met through Instagram and she has become one of my closest friends.
Their wedding could not have been more beautiful or more special. I don't think there was a dry eye in the crowd (including Dylan's) as Erica walked down the aisle. She was the happiest, most beautiful bride I've ever seen.
Seeing the love between them and witnessing them taking their vows was such a gift and such a celebration of love, life, and the hopeful promise of tomorrow.
They have been such a big part of my life and such a bright spot in the midst of 2020. Over the summer, my son started working at their farm shop on the weekends. Their meats, eggs, and produce are always in my kitchen. My ice cream is stocked in their farm shop. Our lives are intertwined and we lift each other up, support and promote one another's businesses, laugh and cry together, bounce ideas off one another, vent and whine. It's amazing to me that this relationship has grown from an Instagram message to the cherished friendship it is now.
2020: the gift of knowledge & support
This past year has had ups and downs for all of us. As 2020 began I was bursting with hope. My food photography business was going in a great direction, I had set clear, attainable goals, I was ready. And then, COVID knocked on all of our doors and the world shut down.
During the early days of quarantine, I was enrolled in my friend Sam's Creative Style Mastermind Course along with 7 other amazing ladies in the food blogging and food photography world. To say I am grateful for that course and the weekly zoom calls is such an understatement. I'm a homebody by nature, but man if quarantine didn't freak me out. Having that support group to learn, laugh, cry, and celebrate with was a sanity saver. Not to mention the skills, knowledge, and friendships I gained over those 9 weeks.
the universe made me do it
Before I enrolled, I was majorly on the fence about taking the course. The financial investment, the time investment - did I need it? Would it be right for me? Was I just being impulsive? Jason and I were sitting on the kitchen floor with one of our dogs when I mentioned it to him for the first time. I had tears in my eyes when I told him how I just felt like I had to do it. Like I was literally being pulled in that direction and I could not put it out of my mind. He agreed that I should do it, wonderful, supportive man that he is, and I signed up that night with zero regrets.
A month later - quarantine. If I didn't already know I made a great decision by joining Sam's course, that just sealed the deal. The lesson? Don't ever be afraid to invest in your business and don't EVER stop learning. If you feel the universe pulling you, don't resist.
2020: the gift of progress, success & self-validation
Over the past 12 months, I have landed paid photography and recipe development contracts with some amazing brands! Mezzetta, Filippo Berio, Kvarøy Arctic, Robert Mondavi, Cakebread Cellars and others. I have also surpassed my goal of reaching 10k followers on Instagram. The numbers aren't everything, but we would all be lying if we said we weren't excited to hit those milestones.
Mini calzones developed & shot for Filippo Berio
Olive Oil Semifreddo developed & shot for Filippo Berio
biscuits, late summer pasta, & grilled flatbreads all developed & shot for Mezzetta
I also made more income Quarter 4 than I have in all of my blogging and food photography years combined. I was busier than I've ever been but I loved it. I loved working with companies that valued me. Developing those relationships and getting repeat business from brands I admire and trust was one of my biggest goals at the start of 2020. And I did it.
I look back over my photos this past year and I love the progression. I've really nailed down my own signature style while also being creative enough to experiment with different styles here and there. I don't want all of my photos to look the same. But I do want to create a mood that is uniquely mine - I can confidently say I've accomplished that and it feels so good.
2020: the gift of growth
And while we're still on the theme of growth, I can't forget my beloved garden. Many of you saw it on my Instagram stories, and I still have two highlights saved there @wild.thistle.kitchen. Early in the spring, Jason and I built a beautiful fenced-in, raised-bed garden and I grew so many amazing herbs, veggies, and flowers. I really threw myself into the whole process and loved it so much. I spent tons of time out there all spring, summer, and fall. Believe it or not I still have some cold-hardy crops growing! broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage. They aren't growing very fast, but I'm just amazed at the perseverance of those plants and I love looking out and seeing the green.
I loved everything I grew, but the heirloom tomatoes were by far my favorite and most proud garden accomplishment. I have seeds saved and ready for this year and I really can't wait.
And the CUTEST thing I grew were my precious baby cucamelons pictured above. They were the perfect garden snack and I even made some tiny pickles out of them.
The zinnias were another favorite. My grandma always grew such a lovely garden and always grew lots of zinnias. I had an entire bed devoted to them and they brought me so much joy. Such a variety of colors and sizes and they are so easy to grow. I sprinkled them on top of the dirt like she always did, gave them a good soak, and just days later they were already sprouting up. Magic.
The Gift of PUPPY BREATH!
And just in the knick of time to make this 2020 round up - we had a puppy baby! Our French Bulldogs Lou Lou and Argus had a beautiful blue brindle baby boy on December 22nd. His name is Grizzly and he is thriving and sweet as can be - destined to be spoiled rotten.
2020: losses (you knew it was coming)
2020 took a lot of things from a lot of us - I'm not here to claim my loss above anyone else's, but to me, this was the worst and hardest part of 2020. This was my 2020.
On November 18th, the world lost a generous, gentle, artistic, accepting soul and I lost my beloved grandmother. She made her peaceful, unexpected exit a week before Thanksgiving 2020. My heart was and still is broken. Truly. In the words of my cousin, "It's amazing how many times a heart can break without killing a person." It is so true. It's remarkable what a human heart can handle.
I didn't share this publicly or even privately with many people. I could hardly bear it, let alone talk about it. I knew I'd share it eventually - when I was ready. Despite my very public platform, I'm a very private person and I don't plaster every detail of my personal life onto social media the moment it happens.
Since losing my dad and grandfather in 2018, I have been a fully functioning victim of heartbreak. Like, I'm ok. I'm happy. I love my husband, my kids, my work, my life. But I am also so sad and there is a chunk of my heart that is gone forever. If this year (the last couple of years, really) has taught me anything, it's that you can be horribly, heart-shatteringly sad and still be happy, content, fulfilled at the same time. It's a strange thing. But life can be good in spite of the sadness. And mine is very good. I just miss my dad and my grandparents every single day and literally everything reminds me of one of them.
A serendipitous invitation
On a whim, in September 2020, my cousin Katherine texted to invite Ava and I on a quick weekend getaway the week of Ava's 13th birthday. A girls' weekend with our granny. Of course we said yes! We packed our bags, hopped in the jeep, and made the 4ish hour drive to meet them. We had so much fun, dragged her around town, ate some amazing food, stayed up late drinking wine, laughing, crying, reminiscing in our hotel room. Such good memories were made. Little did we know that 2 months later we would have to say goodbye to that wonderful granny forever. I'm so grateful for that time and to my cousin for having the idea.
The Greatest Granny
I wrote about my grandmother here many years ago: My Grandma. Just as it's incredibly difficult to write this, it's just as hard to go back and read that post. Like, I'm glad it's there but I just can't look at it. I have similar feelings about the voicemails saved on my phone, sweet emails she wrote me, comments on my recipes, funny birthday cards she wrote to me and to my kids with silly drawings. They make me so happy but kill me at the same time. So many of her treasures are in my home and in my kitchen. You've seen many of them in my photos. She is everywhere and she is such a part of me.
I share her name, an honor I've never taken for granted. My cousin reminded me that I also have her laugh. Her deep, hearty, contagious laugh. My kids remind me often that I have many of her mannerisms and reactions, too. How grateful I am that my kids got to know their great grandmother for so long - for 17 and 13 years. What a wonderful thing that they will always remember her, her always full cookie jar (which lives in my kitchen now), her pancakes and biscuits, her immense pride and love for them.
She was my confidant, my therapist, my voice of reason in this crazy world.
A conversation with her always left me feeling like everything would be ok. She was like my mother in every way and she did so much for me. So much. I truly believe that without her influence I would not be the person I am today. She would often tell me, "I'm amazed at how well-adjusted you are." If you know about my childhood this will make sense. And I would always laugh and say, "well it's because of you!"
In a fit of major self-pity and the kind of delirious, strange humor that comes with intense sadness I had the realization that I am, in fact, an orphan now. I laughed as I said it out-loud, then I cried, and I eventually settled down.
The finality of death is really a hard thing for me. I'm sure it is for a lot of people. She was just always there for me in more ways than anyone else in my life. And it's really, really hard accepting that she isn't here anymore - to accept that I will never hear her voice again, or hug her and breathe in her familiar, lovely smell, or laugh at her wisecracking sense of humor, or hear her signature phone sign-off, "Love ya. Bye, now."
But she lived a long, full life. She traveled the world. She was adored by her husband, family, and friends. How lucky we all were to know her and feel her love.
2020: another loss
In September, we had to say goodbye to our sweet, popcorn-loving Ruby girl. The best schnauzer that ever lived. She died peacefully at home surrounded by her family. I had my hand on her soft little chest as her tender, tired heart slowly faded. What a good girl she was and we loved her so much. Our home is not the same without her silly, schnauzer shenanigans.
Dalgona who?
In many ways, 2020 didn't live up to my high expectations but in other ways it far exceeded them. So, while some might look back at 2020 and remember the Dalgona Coffee craze, here's what I'll remember.
- I'll remember learning, growing, pushing my business forward.
- I'll remember my beautiful goddaughter being born.
- I'll remember watching one of my best friends walk down the aisle to her teary-eyed groom.
- I'll remember the amazing group of ladies I took the Style Mastermind with - and our fearless leader who kept us going during the craziness and uncertainty of our first ever quarantine and national shutdown.
- I'll remember my beautiful, bountiful garden.
- I'll remember saying goodbye to the sweetest schnauzer.
- I'll remember having our very first puppy baby.
- I'll remember that fun, last minute girls' weekend with 3 generations of Parris ladies.
- I'll remember losing the woman who showed me what it means to be a patient, good person and a loving mother. The woman who made me feel and understand true love and self-worth. She was my biggest fan and my biggest cheerleader. She loved my blog and never stopped telling me. So in the spirit of that, let's dry our eyes and talk about what's next for WTK.
What's coming to WTK in 2021?
Well, lots more recipes this year. I'm setting realistic goals. One of them is to be much more consistent with my new and updated posts. Regular newsletters, less Instagram, more blog. I'm thinking of hiring someone to take over the stuff I hate doing (Pinterest, SEO, keyword research).
I'm excited to work with more brands, some new and some repeat.
I'd love to know what you want to see more of in 2021. Leave me a comment and tell me - sweet, savory, pantry staples, easy weeknight, date night? I'm up for all of it. I've really been wanting to do a "What's in my Pantry" type of post. Let me know what you think!
These are the Top 9 Recipe Posts of 2020
Finally, a little Top 9 round up so we end things on a positive note. You all loved these recipes in 2020! These are some of my favorites, so it makes me so happy and so proud to see you all making them too.
- Flourless Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies with Chocolate Chunks
- Grapefruit Basil Gin and Tonic
- The Best Crème Brûlée
- Christmas Cookie Box & Peppermint Bark Recipe!
- Sourdough Pizza Crust
- Beef Enchiladas with Homemade Mexican Red Sauce
- The Easiest Scone Recipe
- Spicy Thai Duck Salad
- Glazed Vanilla Bean Scones
If you made it this far, THANK YOU! I appreciate you. 2020 was a doozy, but I hope your 2021 is off to a good start and you haven't lost hope in the future. Happy New Year, from my kitchen to yours. xo - Anita
This could be the worst year for the world, but every year I get to be next to you is my favorite year. You are my voice of reason when my mind is going crazy. You are my supportive, optimistic, soothsayer when I am feeling stressed and negative. I couldn't imagine living in this crazy world without you, my darling wife.
I really enjoy reading your words. They touch my heart and it feels like you're in front of me, talking to me. That's what I love the most about your writing. It's all you, your words, nothing made up or trying to look smart. Your words are as beautiful as you are.
As far as making something delicious, how about something with peanut butter and oatmeal!?
Oh my darling man. I couldn't do any of this without you. Your love and support keep me going every single day. I love and cherish you, my sweet husband.
And yes! Peanut butter and oatmeal for you, my love. And cajun seasoning. LOL!
I've actually never read your blog(sorry, clearly I'm missing out!) but this morning as I had my breakfast I read it and you brought tears to my eyes. The losses you've had are great and I'm so sorry for that. We've followed each other for a while now now, and I'm so happy for your growth! Good things to come in the future my friend!
Kelly
Oh Kelly! Thank you. It really means so much that you took the time to read this. Thank you for your kind words and friendship. Sending you love and best wishes for 2021! xo - Anita
Just crying and sweating at the gym.
Beautifully written, as always.
Cheers to happy days, amazing food, and friends.
Cheers to you, my friend. Thank you for always reading my posts and I'm sorry I always make you cry! Really miss you. One of these days we will cook, eat, and drink together again!
Love this Anita, so eloquently written. 2020 was definitely a year to remember. So happy to see your growth and continuation to move forward strongly. I hope that in 2021 or 2022 we get the chance to meet. Sending you love, always!
Xoxo,
Cosette
Love you so much Cosette. Thank you for reading and for your kind words. I am just always so thankful for you and I can't wait to meet! Sending love right back to you, always! xoxo - Anita
Anita ~ although we've only known each other over the waves of the internet; I feel so blessed to know you and call you a friend. Your life story, while unique to you, also resembles many of us. I'm always touched at how eloquently you can write about it. Thank you for sharing your highs and lows and for being so kind and supportive to me too. Hopefully the future will bring us an opportunity to meet in person, share some wine, food and stories. In the meantime, I look forward to continuing to be inspired by you and watching you soar!
Tasia - Thank you. I feel the same way about you. Just so happy we were able to connect virtually and I look forward to the day we can meet in person. I cherish your friendship and support and I am so inspired by you and SO proud of you! xoxo - Anita
Such beautiful words as always, Anita.
Thank you, Laura. So happy we met in 2020 and I look forward to the day we meet in person. xo - Anita
Anita, this is such a beautiful recap and tribute to your beautiful grandmother. What a huge and difficult loss to experience. I’m sending you lots of love and comfort! ❤️
Thank you, sweet Rosa. It means so much that you took the time to read and comment. I am so very thankful 2020 gave me the gift of your friendship. xoxo - Anita
Anita! You write so beautifully. Your grandmother sounds like an amazing beautiful woman, what a special bond you have with her. You bring so much light into everything you do and the mastermind would not have been the same without you! I am so grateful that 2020 brought us together, the year was crazy but such good things happened too.. You all were a source of happiness for me in a crazy time! I am BEYOND PROUD of all the progress you are making in your business, and love celebrating your wins with you. Love you lots lady, cheers to crushing 2021!!
Sammmmm! I love you so much! Thank you for reading and commenting. Your kind words, your friendship, your support and constant cheerleading - I appreciate it ALL and I am so thankful 2020 brought us together. I can't wait to see what 2021 brings for us!